About a week ago I went through the lowest, darkest, most depressing time of my life. It’s hard to write about. Hard to admit. I have never felt so forsaken and alone. I wet my pillow with tears as I cried out the words of Jesus, “my God why have you forsaken me.” Even though I knew it was not true, it was still what I intensely felt. I had never felt so low and depressed. I have never had a nervous or emotional “break-down”, but I feel I was as close as I ever care to get. I had let the cancer, the surgery, the recuperation get the best of me. That low point was a wake up call. I told myself, “Bob, you need an attitude check.”

Yes, I began to run all those Scriptures through my mind that are supposed to bring hope, assurance, strength, confidence and understanding. I “took a stand” on them, but relief did not quickly come. The feelings of depression, desertion, defeat tenaciously clung to me. When people asked me, “how are you feeling,” I decided to start telling them. I found out quickly that many are not interested in a real, honest answer. Some look at you like you’ve lost your marbles. Some immediately want to tell you how much worse their situation is. I learned something from that. Everyone’s suffering is different. Physical suffering is one thing, but emotional and spiritual suffering is another thing entirely. Some folks breeze through intense physical suffering with a song and dance. It does not take deep pain, great tragedy, or a death in the family to put you into “the dark night of the soul.” It can be Read the rest of this entry »